Random Name of the Week 2

It's time for the next installment of Random Names. I wanted to try Filbert Carlton Ong last week, but a certain cousin of mine chickened out. Looks like it'll have to be put into storage for a situation that it will be useful for. This week, I figured I'd delve into the dangerous world of female names. There's not as much variety, I realise. Being a guy, not alot of female names sound random. Therefore, I'm going to try and spawn the most bimbotic name I can. I've tried my best, and have no regrets, so here it is:
Melody Brittany Lee Min Xian!

p.s. Remember, anything in this section is severely tongue-in-cheek, so please don't take offence if part of your name appears here. If your name really is Melody Brittany Lee Min Xian.. please drop me a message, cos I know alot of guys who'd like to meet you, myself included xD
p.p.s. Please feel free to comment with random names that have worked well for you!

Are You a Geek?

This has been a draft since Friday, but I've been too lazy to finish it out.

On Friday when I was browsing through Borders while around Wheelock (refer to previous post), I came across this book titled "Are You a Geek? 10^3 Ways to Find Out". It provides you with a checklist to determine your geek factor, along with a scoring system. Apparently the higher your score, the closer you are to a geek prick. It's a real laugh, and it has to be. Cos if you're really a geek you won't be at the humour section of Borders, especially if Science Fiction's just around the corner..

Well, some of the more exciting examples are as follows:
You...live with your mother (1 point)
...are over thirty and live with your mother(2 points)
...are over thirty and live in your mother's basement (5 points) You...have never been invited to a party (1 point)
...have been the only person at a party (2 points)
...arrived at a party, and people said they were going out to run errands and never returned (5 points)
You...haven't changed your glasses in 5 years (1 point)
...have glasses with cartoon characters on the frames (2 points)
...just picked out your new pair of glasses in a colour that matches your bow tie (5 points)
You...enjoy wearing an all-white ensemble (2 points)
...attend the Bishan Parliamentary Preperatory Academy, of Bishan (10 points)

Okay fine so I made half of them up. Go look for it in Borders, unless a bunch of geeks couldn't find their way to Science Fiction. Catch you around.

The Walking Accident

I have a friend, let's call him Kered. Those who know him prefer to refer to him as Splutz. Why? Because he's about the most spaz/klutzy person we know. After going to watch The Prestige with him and Daniel today, I am willling to personally guarantee that he has an aura of splutzness that causes accidents, collisions and various other form of mishap wherever he goes.
First, K tripped over the base of the escalator and is at permanent risk of going over the edge..literally. Apart from that, he bumps into one in three people walking in the opposite direction. Then in the cinema itself, he made the poor girl sitting in front of him drop her hotdog and nachos, that triggered more sniggering from Daniel and I. Trust me, K's a nice guy. So this isn't a rant..until NOW. Because while we were eating ice cream, he conjured a dead leaf from the sky that fell nicely into mine. Apt that we'd just watched The Prestige. Somehow it would have been all the more amusing if it was him.
Ah well. Here's to you, Kered, a beacon of bruises for all those psychomotor dis-inclined folks out there!
Bytheway, The Prestige is a really worth-watching show, but more on the Batman-Wolverine rivalry next time

To the Year 4 GEP Batch of 2006

Well, today's the last ever day of secondary school for all of us (so long as Bert and Lejon DO get promoted). Over the past 4 years, I have grown up along with you guys, amidst much commotion. The fact that we now practically have 5 months of free time to kill aside, a sincere thank you is deserved for putting up with all the nonsense I have been capable of conjuring up. This seems like a real pathetic goodbye cos we'll still be seeing each other next year (unfortunately in some cases). Ah well, boh bian...

To the class of 4.10, you'll agree we've had fun for the past couple of years. And against all odds, by taking turns to laugh at various random people, we probably have bonded better than I'd have ever expected. Oh, and thanks for being obedient sheep for a certain Class Chairman. Today marks the demise of the smallest class in school, as well as about the most kheng. Cheers, slackers.

To those in 4.9, half of you have been my classmates before and experienced my terror. And those who haven't, would have heard about it. Thanks (mostly) for sec 1 and 2, and for the boundless entertainment. I take every groan from you guys as a personal success. Have fun in your future endeavours/mugging/SERVICING.

To my teachers (yeah I know you blogsurf too!), thank you for putting up with my rubbish all these years. Despite being repetitively thrown out of class by a certain transparent and accountable history teacher for being extensively lame, it has not affected my ability to think critically and make bad jokes. In the end, it's what you learn that matters in school, and I walk away confident that I'm boosted in that department. So..Rest In Peace, General Education Officers!

Today also happens to be my last day in the GEP. Apart from accounting for 75% of my social circle, the GEP has truly worked wonders. Too bad certain men upstairs (the guy on the 8th floor who keeps singing karaoke) don't see that, and the GEP will soon be canned, like some kind of processed meat.

A special shut up must go to my OMing buddies, without whom I wouldn't be such an idiot. To you I say: caterpillars, polka-dots, earwax.

Okay, that was random. God Bless and all the best, guys. Make sure you still remember me 20 years from now

1. Lists

Lists are every blogger's best friend. They let the whole world know how busy you are, how many people you love, and what you have in your bag! Unfortunately, the great art that we call listing is dying out. As such, I have made it my personal duty to leave some useful tips for all those listers out there. Read this, and learn how to go from a Z-lister to an A-lister!
1. Find an exciting topic to make a list about! Something along the lines of what you had for dinner, or things you hate about yourself (if you're contemplating this, be a patient angel and wait for future remarks on emo blogposts)
2. Write as many random words you can about the topic, so that your reader will understand every single aspect and detail.
3. Tinky-winky
4. Dipsy
5. Laa-laa
6. Po
7. Make your list as long as possible, so you can go show off to all your friends! (See how random words come in handy?)
7a. Every REAL, SERIOUS lister uses sub-points. This lets the whole world see how meticulous you are!
7a(i). I feel so meticulous!
8. Remember to include EVERY juicy little detail. This way, everyone knows how much/many ________ you have/need/want/fart.
9. Begin a competition with all your friends to see who can make the longest list!
10. See
11. My
12. List
13. Is
14. Longer
15. Than
16. Yours
17. !!!!!
18. Above all, enjoy yourself. And take everything I say with a pinch of salt. Or pepper. Or earwax.

Borat Online!

You have to watch this... it's hilarious. I tell you it's gonna be banned in Singapore

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq_fzdEk0r8

Results!

Well, results are out today... And I can't really complain all that much. Now that the worrying is gone, I can fully concentrate on more meaningful activities that occur in class, namely playing cards and watching OneTreeHill on Jin's laptop. -hackcoughmyaverageisanA1-

Random Name of the Week

I'm going to try and make this a regular thing. As often as I can, I gather with a couple of friends in the canteen for this purpose. I think I should encourage more people to engage in such form of activity. It not only stimulates your verbal-linguistic intelligence, but brightens your day considerably. Ready? Here goes...
Step 1: Gather with a couple of friends in a crowded area, like a canteen (keep it in school if you want to be safe)
Step 2: Come up with a random name, along the lines of (first name) (middle name) (surname) (chinese name)
Step 3: Look for an innocent-looking person minding his/her own business.
Step 4: Dare your friend to walk up to the person and ask if his/her name is ___________.
Step 5: Observe your target's reaction
Step 6: See whether you or your friend cracks up first

Trust me, this works wonders on a crappy day. Therefore, innocent reader, I leave you with this week's random name. The first ever Random Name of the Week is... (drumroll)... Filbert Carlton Ong Wei Mun! Enjoy.

And so it begins

Well, seeing as the exams are over, I can finally put my intentions into action and invent this figment of my imagination. This blog was started to give myself an outlet for all the nonsense floating about in my head, or it may just explode.
DISCLAIMER: Anything mentioned in this blog is seriously tongue-in-cheek. I maintain no responsibility for any injury or death caused by laughter, groaning, or the need to wring my neck. If anything offends you, I'm sorry. If you laugh till your insides ache, imagine what I'd look like when I'm posting.